You are what you say you are...or at least what you think you are.

I am a runner. Not a fast runner. My body does not look like something out of Runner's World.

But I am a runner. I like it. No, I really love it. So why do am I so insecure about it?

Years of not being confident in my abilities as an "athlete" have landed me right back in the realm of not believing my body could run.

As I reflected on the past year, I realized my ill-health had taken a HUGE toll on my outlook on running.

I am not as fast and have gained almost 10 lbs. back and I'm afraid. I'm afraid of running long and being stuck somewhere far from home because my body couldn't continue. This happened last year 6 miles from home. I was shaky, dizzy, and felt like someone strapped 10 lb. weights to my legs. What I didn't know then was I was in the throws of mononucleosis. So I pushed and pushed my body until I got home. Mentally, I don't think I have fully recovered from this incident.

The expectation that once I've ran a marathon, I should be able to just run and run. But the setbacks are not all physical. My health has been improving. Now, I've just got to get my mind to follow.

I love to run. I should just run. One tool I will use on my long runs besides water is my cell phone. Physically I can do it. Mental-strength tells me if I just go do it, it will follow.