Thursday, October 1, 2015

"Wearing your emotions on the outside"

Someone said this about weight. Obese people wear their emotional scars on the outside. I think about this statement.
We all have "trauma" in our past that shape how we treat others, how we view ourselves and our actions-it is the coping mechanisms we develop that help us keep going.
For someone overweight like myself, I will always turn to food as my pseudo bestfriend and confidant.
I wear what I am going through on the outside.
I had rotator cuff & bicep surgery in June. I am not completely healed.
I feel I have no patience with my family at times and feel so overwhelmed to keep my family going-healthy, smart, and clean.
I know if the world were to stop today, I would choose healthy above all but I don't show it at times when I eat garbage or let my kids get away with not eating healthy food.

It could even not be about  me. I am 43 years old and my friends are coming down with real health problems like CANCER! I get stressed for them knowing they have young kids like myself and what if they don't make it?!

So I eat. And when I show love or want to be accepted...I cook and eat.
When my plate of to do list is HUGE, I eat.

Then I parade my inadequacies all over my body in the form of rolls and flab all over.

Big message? Learn to not turn to food as the first go to.
Today, I will work on this.