Wednesday, April 27, 2011

My skin has been acting up again this past month and it's frustrating because I can't seem to pinpoint the cause.

It's itchy and bumpy and it's all over my body. It's slowly getting better (I think). I have another doctor's appointment tomorrow. What do I think is the cause? I think my body went into attack mode when I developed mono a few months and it manifests through my skin.

What does this mean? I'm still tired a lot and I'm anxious because my skin irritates me and I don't sleep well through the night because I can't get comfortable.

In addition to being anxious, I'm finding that I'm getting depressed over my skin. I've been hiding myself at home a lot and not getting out to run or do too much.

Today, I will definitely go to Zumba. I can't change my skin condition but I can change my reaction right? I hope some cool music and hips-swinging will lift my spirits.

Thursday, April 21, 2011

The thing about projects...

It's funny how reading other blogs jogs gets my writing juices flowing. It's not just writing but when I see creative and crafty blogs, I want to try to make things too.

Everyone needs a break. My kids take a break by taking a power nap, zoning out for an hour watching TV, or just playing quietly by themselves. As for me, I have gotten a LOT better about knowing when I need a break and taking it.

Back in the day when I worked and did not have kids, I would get paid to take a break-a vacation. It was scheduled and paid for. However, since being a SAHM, I had a hard time letting go of my duties as head chief homemaker. My breaks used to be having my husband watch the kids so I can clean. Worse, I'd hire a junior high kid to run around with my kids so I can clean. That's no break. I was burned out and resentful. I felt like there was no beginning and end-if I had a clean bathroom, it would only last two days or there's always more dishes to do. I had to discover and re-defind what a break meant. There was even two weekends where I got to get away without husband and kids. I did feel refreshed-I'd like to do it more but it can get expensive and I'd be miserable by the end because I'd miss my kids too much.

After two boys and countless blog lurking, I have come into my own-let me tell ya.

Now, I make time to run or work on a sewing project. Or read. There is a beginning and an end to each of these activities and you get an end product. These mini-breaks have been the key to enjoying my family more. When my sister-in-law came to visit, she got to sew for two days straight and she was relaxed and relieved that she was able to start and finish a project. She works full-time and between running around with the kids' activities and keeping the house looking nice, she has no time for any down-time projects.

I told her I didn't care if there are dishes left in the sink for more than an hour now, I'll let it go overnight even if I can finish a book, sew, or exercise-especially if I can feel my soul needs it. There will always be cleaning to do at home. Now, I don't excessively clean my house, it's not a reflection of me anymore. She left here armed with the "down-time projects for the pure enjoyment of it" attitude.

My rule is, if I don't know you're coming, you get whatever condition my house is in. If you want to see it in tip-top shape, let me know ahead of time. Otherwise, I'm going to love on my kids and hubby and when they are all tucked in, I'm kicked back reading or sewing. That's how I top off my full cup.

Sewing, reading, and running may not be your thing, but find something. Anything that you enjoy to do and do it. You don't have to be perfect. I'll make the other parts of your brain happy.

Thursday, April 14, 2011


Coming off of one of the most special week of the Rambin' On family. My oldest sister and her kids came to visit for the first part of the week and after she left, my husband's older sister's family came to visit. In addition, my youngest sister came to visit with her friend L. We sewed, we ate, we swam, we visited. S.E. completely learned to ride a bike without training wheels thanks to my sister-in-law and her wonderful kids. I would post pictures but I don't have permission. My niece H successfully and confidently tied her shoes. My nieces all made headbands. Two of my nephews made rag quilts (how did I let them leave without taking pictures of their craftwork?!). It was the best visit ever. I do whatever I can to make my nieces and nephews feel special and spend as much time as I can with them because I know once they head into the upper teens, it's hard to get them over here. We are a good six hour drive from family so I feel very grateful to have them take the time to come visit.

Wednesday, April 6, 2011

Dress to Skirts Repurposed

Two sisters digging through my pile of free clothes. One tank dress. Cut in half. Sew a hem on one and two elastic waistbands added and we have two skirts for to of the most darling girls we know.

Saturday, April 2, 2011

Growing Pains

Today my oldest son S.E. made his first meal: toasted bagel with butter and milk. He did this all by himself. I know many of you have kids younger and have been making meals by themselves by age six. Part of why I didn't have S.E. do this before were 1) I was always there to meet his dietary needs 2) I just didn't think he was ready. I was thinking last night about when I was in about eight years old and stayed home all day with my three younger siblings (youngest being almost eight years younger than myself). I was the second child of five living siblings. My mom kept having kids until she got a boy. My older sister was there to cook and between the two of us, we helped my parents take care of the younger kids while they worked hard to earn what amounted to very little in order to provide for a family of seven back in the early eighties. I remember being a cautious kid not taking off to play if I had to watch my siblings (which was pretty much all the time). I remember not standing on a chair to wash dishes. I remember eating a lot of top ramen and Kix cereal. I remember my baby brother crying and inconsolable unless I wore a shirt that smelled like my mom for him to sleep. I remember being in the blueberry fields picking berries alongside my parents and helping them keep the three younger kids occupied in the hot August days. There was no jogging stroller to push my brother around-it was my hips. My role as caretaker to my siblings went deep and long. I remember turning eighteen and thinking "I can't leave to go to school until my younger siblings graduate from high school". I did this because my parents were trying to provide for the family and didn't understand homework and afterschool activities. Once my brother graduated from high school, I went off across the state to study at a university. I struggle between wanting my boys to be independent, but I also want them to know I will take care of them. Feeding them is a huge part of my caretaking. He is ready. He was so proud of his meal and after it was all done, I see a look of accomplishment and satifaction.