I didn't run the race this morning because it was raining and with my compromised immune system, I didn't want to risk getting a cold and breaking out again.

Also, my partner got sick in the middle of the night-turns out to be kidney stones. Ouch.

Last, our water heater decided not to work so we had no hot water and so no shower for stinky me and hubby needed to go get parts to fix it. Too many things working against me today.

Therefore, it felt like an omen to just stay home and run on the treadmill instead which I did.

Paul Simon ~ Father & Daughter

Tears

I am finding that I wear my heart on my sleeves a lot these days. I tear up almost all the time. I can't even wear non-waterproof mascara anymore.

What tears me up?

There's the obvious when I hear a friend's world has been shaken up with the bad news.

Hearing "Fathers and Daughters" from Paul Simon.

I tear up when I get to hold a baby.

Hearing S.E. (the non snuggler) ask me to snuggle with him-which I promptly throw bedtime curfew out the window and plop my hinny on my comfy seat and hold him. I love the smell of him. I love his run-on sentences and hearing about his discovery of learning how to spell.

I cry for my little Koo when his feelings get hurt so easily or when he is so happy when he is on the soccer field-not even getting hit in the head by the ball during practice broke his stride.

I tear up when I visit with a friend who is getting better and she's doing well. I cheer with her.

I even tear up when I think of how warm and just spoiled I am. I am loved wholeheartedly by one man and two little boys.

I tear up when Koo wants to brush my hair and pluck my grey hairs because he doesn't want me to get old and leave him.

I tear up when S.E. thanks me for cutting the crust off his lunch and for making his PB and J mushy (that's how I used to like it when I didn't care about carbs and fat). Just like mom.

You get the idea. As I write this post, I'm tearing up.

Twiddling my thumbs. Yup. I've been up to nothing but running, bare minimal cleaning, and just being available to the three most important people in my life.

I started to get a panic of "oh, I've got 2 hours each day, I should be signed up for something" or "I should get this project or that project done".

But then I remembered how stress oozes itself through my skin. How much I used to itch. How many open sores were on body that I used to hold my breath when I showered because even the super mild/hypoallergenic soaps would burn my open sores.

So, today like so many other days, I just do what is absolutely needed to do, let go of those which is not dire, and get healthy.

How much we take our health for granted until we don't have it. If I don't have my health, I can't take care of my lovies. Long-term visions of being around long enough to cuddle with my boys' babies puts life pretty much into perspective.

Hope you are able to stay healthy and give yourself a break.

Guess what?

My kids are away. To Portland, OR. This is their 2nd Annual trip to the Rose city with their adopted aunt and uncle.

Hubby and I miss them. I woke up this morning climbing into their empty beds to sniff out a smell of them.

But alas, time without them shall not be wasted as hubby and I slept in and are now heading to a big city an hour away to shop and skip around the town without kids.

I have to say, our lives are so much richer and we are so much more connected because of our sons. I thank God everyday for his blessing and am grateful he has given lovely and I the pleasure of raising them together.

I still heart my treadmill

As I got off the treadmill on Saturday, I thought about how much having a treadmill in my house has been such a positive addition.

My past encounters with home treadmills have been: stored in a corner with dust collected all over it, being used as a clothes rack, broken, or banished to an area of the house where NO ONE goes to unless they have to quickly retrieve something. Not one person who've own a treadmill have continued to use theirs.

So I was very hesistant to get one. But now I have one and I use it all. the. time. Even if I just crank out 1 mile. I get on there and go.

I especially love it when the weather is gross or when the lovely hubby travels. I don't have to miss out on my workout and I get to stay on track.

I have made a commitment to not hang one clothing on my treadmill.

9.5 miles!!

Ran it. Felt good. Soaked my feet afterwards like Mr. Dean Karnazes the greatest endurance runner ever. If it's good for him, it's good enough for moi.

For fuel, four Clif Shot blocks every 30 minutes along with 6 almonds and water. This works for me because not only does it help me keep going but after the run, I am not jittery and crazy hungry.

I made up my mind to run a half marathon in two weeks. I'm not racing for time, just going to finish it.

My feet feel better now, I'm getting off the stool and hobble to take a much needed shower.