Monday, March 9, 2009

Shallow Me

When I read other blogs, I feel so humbled by the depth of words that come out and am amazed at what other people are thinking and doing. I feel my blog is fluff...very trivial topics and some are just complete nonsense. Why do I continue to blog? I blog so that I have an outlet to write and do something that does not have to do with being a stay-at-home mom (cook, clean, run around playing referee).

I can go through a day without a profound thought and often any attempts at being intelligent (like reading nonfiction books or how to books) results in frustration because either I can't follow the book or don't have the concentration for it anymore. I remember in college and reading several research articles per week. Now, I even avoid Wikipedia because it is too IN DEPTH. Guess if I don't use it-I lose it. Hence, I continue to ramble on in this blog.

This reminds me of when I was in third grade and I was the weird kid in my class because each afternoon when English was taught, I had to leave the room because I was in a special class-ESL. I had been to the U.S. about four years and had been in ESL since Kindergarten. I had trouble speaking and writing in English. I totally needed the extra help. My parents didn't speak English and when we were at home, we were not allowed to speak English. Anyway, I was getting better with my adopted language and hated being different. The other kids didn't understand where I went for an hour or so-I think they thought I was "special" (not in a good way). Remember as kids we didn't want to have anything affliction that would make us "different" for fear of being teased?! I was that different child. One day, after coming back from ESL and heading outside for second recess, I told Mr. Morrison that I did not want to leave the class anymore and that I would try to do better in class (I would even welcome extra homework to catch me up). Mr. Morrison was amazing. He let me stay in class but took the time to take me to the library one a week during recess to check out lots and lots of books. He told me if I can read all the extra books, I would be able to grasp the English language better. Hence, the birth of the bookworm. By the end of the school year, I was reading at a fierce rate and tried so hard to keep up with the English as a first language students that by fifth grade, I was in HONORS English because my comprehension of the English language. I don't remember if I ever had an accent or when I lost it but I even mastered talking in English fluently.

Why am I even telling this story?! Because it's a reminder to me that even though I don't write at college level anymore, I shouldn't stop-and that's why I blog and still read any book that interest me-so what if they aren't Nobel prize worthy.

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