Monday, July 13, 2009

Cup half empty...

I think I'm usually a cup half full kind of person, but recently I can't seem to find the joy in any area of my life. Isn't that just horrible? There is nothing catastrophic or tragic to send me into this mood, in fact, my kids and husband are healthy and I am in the best shape of my life. How come I can't seem to not be the biggest Grump about anything?

One area that really bothers me is how I've been a hot/cold mom. I don't have the patience for my kids, yelling at them is the only way I can seem to get them to mind, and Koo has been having the biggest hissy fits. I'm tired of people telling me how to parent and I understand they are trying to help but what ends up happening is I doubt myself and then I back off on parenting until they do something to set me off. I'm role modeling horrible behaviors for them and at this point I don't even care. I take out my insecurities about parenting on them.

As my friend C said, I hope the kids can get a group rate on counseling once they get older to get over the trama of moms.

Like I said, I usually will keep trying to better myself and my parenting but right now, I don't have a drop in my cup.

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