It seems like I have been waiting for my boys to go to school full-time for me to have time for myself.

Well, I do have time.  I have been busy sewing, cleaning, exercising, and going to treatment for my skin.

But, I find all day I just think of my boys.  I miss their noise.  I miss their smell.  Then I think of how grateful I am to have had been in their lives from their first moment onto this earth.

Recently, it has come to my attention that there are kids in the boys' classrooms that do not have an secure and solid family/support system to rely on.

I'm trying to find the best way to help them without offending the parents or letting these kids not feel like they are a charity case.

Today, my gratitude is in abundance because I have two, healthy boys who don't know the feeling of not   knowing where they will lay their heads at night, where their parents are, if they will stay warm enough throughout the night or how to suppress their hunger pains.

It just made me smile to go through their baby pics...and fun to see the boys they are becoming but always will be my babies (this is the only place I can say this without them correcting me that they are not babies anymore).

I dreamt I was trying on shoes. Lots of shoes. All on sale.  Hence, I didn't want to get up this morning.

Dragged myself out of bed at 7am (normally I'm a 6am kind of gal), pack lunches, served the boys high fiber oatmeal and now drinking my coffee.

I wish my heels would get better soon already so I could walk normal-style.  But in my dreams, my feet felt light as air and every pair of shoes fit. 

Wouldn't that be nice? 

Since my killer heels (and I do mean killer) especially when I go from sitting position to standing, I've been looking for different ways to get a workout in.

Well, a few ladies have been dropping in to workout with me in my basement.  Booty-camp as my brother-in-law calls it.  I started doing this because I can't go the gym anymore (allergies) and I love working out with others to keep me motivated. 
 
Yesterday, we killed it.  The workout was almost too hard for me. The theme was "the hills are alive with our groans of pain".  The three of us were hurting after 60 minutes.  The most painful was alternating sprints up and down my stairs, mountain climbers, weighted jumping jacks, and kettle bell lunges at the end of our workout.  I know when a workout is kicking *&$ when my friend threatens bodily harm to me. 

Why would I invite my friends over just torture them?  The lovely has been away on a business trip and I was surfing the channels and was mesmerized by ESPN's coverage of the Cross Fit games.  In my opinion, it's not so impressive to see men doing crazy moves but it was coverage of the women's challenge. 

It was no. joke. These ladies were a-maz-ing!!  Crazy moves with a lap around the track in between.  The muscles, the agility, the grit they had to just push through the pain.

I was so inspired to see how gunned out their bodies were and still at the finish line, they were panting and looked in pain (expressions I identified with) but not on their level.  For some reason, I thought if you  had killer muscles, you didn't hurt after a workout anymore. Like when your six packs have mini-six packs you didn't struggle to do pull-ups.  I LOVED every minute of the coverage.

Hence, I wrote up a routine for yesterday aiming to get those SAME expressions on my friends as I saw on TV (I hope they show up next week).

Thanks for sticking with the post even if it's not of a re-purposed / boys update/ recipe. 

One door closes, a different one opens

If you follow this blog, you know I've got plantar fasciitis and it's been a bugger to heal.  I am mad at myself for ignoring it so long (since at least March) but I was living in denial so I kept running until I couldn't even walk without pain.

I've been off hard-running for almost one month now and as I reflect on why I didn't stop when I knew this was the problem.  I think most runners can identify with this, I was in a groove. My miles were getting longer and I didn't want to stop because once you stop, it's twice as hard (at least) to train to get run.  I mean like two hour runs.

I've been doing my exercises I've learned in physical therapy.  I've not been running.  But I've actually been able to lose 2 lbs.!!!

How?  By cutting back and keeping track of the foods I eat.  And by turning to boot camp (in my home with friends dropping in to do them with me) and by workout DVDs. 

I recommend Bob Harper's kettlebell workout.  It's high intensity but low feet impact. Also, there's a series called "Slim in 6" and it's basically low-impact aerobics and weight training.  Oooh, and my most out-of-the-box workout is biking.  Who knew my hinny would actually get used to sitting on those seats?!  I love it.  I've had my bike for over 20 years and this has been the most miles I've ever put on it.

I have to say, after a month of not running, I'm okay with not running.  I've always said that I would stop running if my knees or legs start to develop problems.  I hope to get back to running at some point in my life, but I'm going to be okay. 

How about you?  What have you had to give up because of time, injury, or &%@# happens?  How did you overcome this?

Love this phrase

These days, through Pinterest and Facebook, I come across a lot of quotes.

One day as I was listening to talk radio, Dr. Laura said to a caller "don't let others' behaviors dictate your character". I was so struck by this powerful phrase that I quickly jotted it down.

Many times I've drilled this concept home to my kids especially to not blame or follow others when you know better.

However, I feel hypocritical because I've made compromising/unhealthy decisions fueled by others' behaviors. 

It might have been something small like what color I liked, what clothes to wear (even when I knew it looked terrible on me), or when someone takes their bad day out on me-I would try to fix it.

As I'm well into the age of forty, I find I don't run around trying to change other people's behaviors or what they think of me.  I know who I am.  I know my character.  I know I am still learning and evolving as a mom.

Recently, the boys have gone back to school and of course the questions/comments of what am I going to do with my time has come up.  I know folks are curious-envious even.  Old me would down play my importance and reach out to find work to find myself worthy of staying at home for  six hours without my kids.

What my goal is while my children are at school is to get what I need done so when they come home, I am theirs. Undivided attention.  Yesterday, we sprawled out on the couch reading out loud then going for a walk because I discovered a ripe plum tree (all picked by the time we got there). 

I am always re-evaluating my choices but I have come to learn that the best choice for me is the one that allows me to take care of my family and foster relationships. 

Life's a marathon...NOT a sprint

I was reminded of this phrase by my friend Cee the other day.

We were chatting on the phone and I was reeling from the news that I can't run my marathon in October because of plantar fasciitis.  I have been going to physical therapy for two weeks and I tried to run during this time and I was in a lot of pain.

As someone who likes to have 100% completion on tasks/goals not because I think I'm awesome but I hate to let anyone down.  However, realizing my limitations and doing the best thing for me right now does not make me a failure.

It just means life happens. So I don't run a marathon when I'm forty.  I want to be able to walk without hobbling the other 19 hours of the day so I just am not going to sweat it.

I've been given the go ahead to bike.  I am not a strong biker. I am always afraid I'll crash in front of an intersection with everyone looking on and then getting run over.

Weird huh?

Well, I loaded up my 20 year-old bike in the back of our truck and went to our city's trail and biked for 12 miles.  Peaceful with the exception that I didn't check the air pressure on the tires beforehand so I road it with a flat tire.  Oh well I did it and I'm going to do it today but start from my house.

This is scary for me but I keep thinking of something my sister told me "life happens when you leave your comfort zone".

While driving dad to work this morning, I mentioned to the boys how lonely it will be at lunchtime because both the boys will be at school.

I asked if parents are allowed to come eat lunch with the students.

S.E. pipes up "Yes mom.  But I don't want you to come sit with me. I want to sit with my friends."

Crack.  The sound of my widdle heart breaking.

Koo immediately said he would sit with me.  Thank you Koo.

A few minutes later, S.E. adds..."I love you Mom but I am still going to sit with my friends."

That's okay because for the first six years of their lives, I got to eat lunch with them, be with them to witness their progression from infant to independent, sweet, boys.  I can let them go have lunch by themselves. 

What do they want for lunch for the first day? Fresh spring rolls with peanut sauce.  They will have this in their lunches and as for me, I will cherish every hug, hang on every word, and sniff and love on them from the moment they get off the bus 'til the moment they have to get back on the next day.

But of course I will be dropping in at school to volunteer so I can still see them...