Year in Review

I thought I would do a summation of this past year for me and some of the milestones for me so I don't forget how far I've come.

2008: 160 lbs.
Treadmill running max: 4.8
Clothing size: 12-16 women's
Farthest I've ever ran: 5 miles / 1 hr. 25 min
cholesterol: 165

2009: 129 lbs.
Treadmill running max: 7.5
Clothing size: 4-8 women's
Farthest I've ran this year: 13.1 miles (1/2 marathon) in 2:25 minutes
cholesterol: 143

I feel pretty good about what I have been able to accomplish and as the new year approaches, I will have new goals which I hope to achieve. The most important thing I am doing that I've never done before is maintaining my weightloss. I've been at the current weight +/- 2 lbs. since May. Thank you Weight Watchers and my husband for his support. Above all, I am grateful that God was with me on every run.

Organization

Must organize the storage closet before it takes over and kills someone. I have been trying on and off to make the closet work but let's face it-I am really bad at organizing anything other than a menu. Tragic. I'm taking advantage of all the sales on storage bins at time and bought five bins. Wish me luck.

I really don't...

want to pack up the Christmas decorations. I have a lot of sewing, organizing, and cleaning to do but I'm cold and tired- mostly lazy. I just want to try to sit still and veg. but my mind keeps on going. The only time I stop is to read and sleep. I dumped all the Christmas candy, cookies, and gingerbread houses. Begone Christmas cookies, I've got weight to lose.

Red Mary Janes

I love Mary Jane style of shoes. Even better if they are in red. LOVE. THEM. I am not a fancy dresser: not too much bling, scarfs, or fluff attached to my clothes. . I like khakis, jeans, white shirts (lots and lots of white shirts). However, I like to jazz it up with red shoes. Well, so even my red shoes are practical and uneventful. I'm not a tall person and I have visions of looking like Dolly Parton or Miss. Piggy if I try to add too much flair to my outfits. I'm really "dolled up" if I change my earrings. So Vogue won't be calling but at least I'm comfortable. Maybe I'll try to be more adventureous now that I'm not packing an extra 30 lbs...but only if it's comfortable.

Present for Mom

The boys were helping lovely husband place presents under our Christmas tree from family and friends. S.E. and Koo can read their names now and so they would get excited when there was a package for them. Well, once it was all said and done, there wasn't a package for Mom. The boys got sad for me and it reminded of stories I'd told them about being grateful for what you have because they have SO MUCH. I didn't grow up with Christmas trees and presents until I was out of adolescence. No presents was the norm growing up in my family. These were not customs in my birth country. Now we follow these traditions because being in America for 25+ years, we've not only gained a few wonderful American traditions, we've gained a few pounds too. My kids just held on to the fact that I grew with one toy and didn't get Christmas gifts.

The next day after school, S.E. and Koo asked me for a box-with a lid. I thought they were making a manger because they have been learning a lot about Jesus's birth coming up. It was a secret they told me-I wasn't to know what they were doing. Well, next thing you know, they had taped something in an old shoe box, wrapped it in computer paper and stuck it under the tree. A gift for mom because she didn't have any was the explanation.

Let me get the gunky emotions that welled up in my heart when they showed me their gift for me. So loving and thoughtful of them. I gotta go glue my heart back together because they melt it.

Yesterday, two more presents arrived with my name on them and the boys celebrated my good forturne for I was a good mom so Santa didn't forget about me. And the hits just keep on coming.

Crazy mother

Crazy Mother am I. I am crazy. Mother, you are crazy when you yell at your boys for leaving the lights on downstairs when they tell you they've turned out the lights. They are kids. I will refer myself as Mommy Dearest or Joanie when I yell and rant at them. I have flashbacks of "No wire hangers!!!". I remember being so scared and scarred by that movie and now I've become Joan Crawford. My friend Dee told me she goes through this too. She says it sneaks up on her and before you know she's having an adult fit. I don't have any conclusions or revelations of how I will avoid doing this, but I'm going to try to laugh instead. Parenting is hard.

Fancy rubber gloves

What do you do to fancy up your rubber gloves? Take the end scraps from a pair of pajama pants that I hemmed up, add a white trim, and sew it to the end of a pair of rubber gloves. Voila!! Fancy rubber gloves to clean in.

It was so much fun, made another one for my friend Patricia. Her hands have been cracked lately due to the cold weather and use of cleaning products.

I got the idea when I goggled them and found that they cost $16!!! It offended my cheapness when the gloves cost $2.23 at Walmart. Not a bad knockoff huh?

sledding

The boys and I played out in the snow yesterday. I've made peace with snow since driving a Subaru-I love being able to drive around in the snow and not slide. The snow was not wet enough to make a snowman but we went sledding. So much fun!!! We just went to the side of our house and used a foam sled that was lightweight so the boys didn't complain about trekking it back up the hill.

Gingerbread Houses Part Deux

It's another year and I once again volunteer for punishment in the form of 22 Gingerbread houses for S.E. and Koo's Christmas school party. I must have been tired or ditzy when I was cutting out the model because the houses didn't come together as nicely as last year. Oh well. It's done and I enjoyed doing making the houses this year so much more because my back and knees did not hurt from long hours of standing to cut, bake, and form these minature delights. Last year, being 30 lbs. heavier really made this task painful. I'm so grateful I reclaimed my body.

I remember as a kid seeing gingerbread houses and wishing I lived in a house made of candy. I'm so happy to be able to do this for my boys. They have it so much better than I did as a kid. I hope I am able to leave some things left to be desired for them so they can continue to make the lives of their children better. I've been asked "Why?!!". I made the houses because last year I did it last year for S.E.'s class and I can't not do it for the Koo's this year.

My lovely husband knew me so well. When I am elbow-deep in a project, I forget to take pictures. So thank you hubby for taking the pictures so I can post them. Now the houses are ready for more frosting and candy...lots and lots of candy.

If you want to make gingerbread houses-check out the original post in Dec. 2008.

gym rat

I was called a gym rat by my friend Ron. He just joined the same gym along with his wife (one of my most favorite people). Ron and I took a total body bootcamp class on Monday. He took Tuesday and Wednesday off to recover. Just saw him this morning down there and when he told me I was crazy to sign up for another bootcamp because it was 85 minutes for the same price as 60 minutes. Hey-it was a good deal and a great workout. Afterwards, since I knew a snow storm was coming tonight and I may not be able to run outside until March, I took off from the gym and ran another three miles. He couldn't believe how cheerful I could be working out. What can I say? It feels good to exercise.

SunBonnet Sue

I made this bag for my niece H.A.W. I love Sunbonnet Sue-she's so cute and easy to applique. This pattern was adapted from a book by Eleanor Burns. She's a quilter from the PBS program "Quilt in a Day". I'm excited to give this bag to my niece when she comes over for Christmas.

Cranberry Apple Pancake

My neighbor invited me over for breakfast yesterday and she made the most fabulous oven pancake ever. It came from a Better Crocker's Dieter's cookbook and it was soooo good. I made it this morning for the boys and they ate two helpings. It looks fancy as well as taste delicious. Here's a picture of what was left.

Cranberry Apple Pancake

Preheat oven to 350F.

2 T butter

1 small apple, skinned and chopped

1/4 cup dried cranberries

1/4 cup brown sugar

1 tsp orange peel

1/4 c orange juice

3/4 cup all-purpose flour

4 tsp sugar

1/2 tsp baking powder

1/2 tsp baking soda

1/8 tsp salt

1 egg, beaten

1/2 cup buttermilk

Place butter in 9" pie plate and place in oven to melt butter. Remove and sprinkle apples and cranberries. Set aside. In the meantime, place brown sugar, orange juice, and peel into a small saucepan. Bring to a boil and reduce heat to simmer for 5 minutes. Pour over fruits mixture.

In a separate mixing bowl, add remaining dry ingredients and mix together. Make a well in the middle. Measure buttermilk out in a measuring cup and add egg. Mix. Add wet mixture to the dry mixture and mix until just blended. Pour over apple-OJ mixture. Bake for 15-18 minutes.

Immediately invert onto large plate. Serve warm.

Free and Clear Shampoo

I started using a shampoo prescribed to me by my dermatologist called "Free and Clear Shampoo". The shampoo has no dyes, lanolin, fragrance, masking fragrance, protien, parabens, and formaldehyde. My head has never felt better. The shampoo does not lather as well as the amped-up shampoos but my sensitive scalp is not burn after washing with this. I've switched my entire family to this shampoo. You can order it from your pharmacy or online. It's not outrageously expensive. LOVE. IT.

Insomnia

I have not been able to sleep. It's been going on for about a week. Wide awake at 2 am. So I have been reading, sewing, or watching reruns of really dumb shows that I would not take time to watch. What you may ask? Any strange medical problem showcased on Discovery Health Channel. These nocturnal hours are making me very cranky during the day. Yesterday I think I bit my lovely husband head off a few times and I felt like dirt afterwards. Poor lovely. Sleep please come my way.

Busy little bee

I have been so busy trying to sew and get my house ready for the holidays that I forgot I had a blogsite. Shame on me huh? There's been sick husband to tend to, football to watch, bathrooms to clean, and endless amounts of laundry to do. I'm trying to have a grateful heart in my approach because I've been pretty lucky to have the kind of life I do have so I'm just going to not whine and just do what I can.

Another fun run!!

My friend R asked me to run in a 4.0 mile race today and I went with her because she is just starting out and trying to lose weight. The race was an hour away and my husband and kids decided to come to cheer us on. Her husband was there too. I just love the group that puts this run on. They belong to a running club and it's basically just a way for them to have runners come together and have a great time. The raffle prizes were 6 frozen turkeys. It was a beautiful sunny, cold day and the best part besides running 4 miles in 38 minutes-my men waiting at the finish line to cheer me on. S.E. and Koo ran to the finish line with me. Very cute and I will remember this forever. I want to inspire my boys to be active and when they grow up to enjoy running like I've become to really like. It's the only "sport" I've ever stuck with and enjoy doing.

I've been a hermit lately and haven't been in the mood to write. I've been reading a lot. Right now I've been reading books by Susan Elizabeth Phillips. Nothing but light damsel-in-distress-saved-by-a-stud which is just right up my alley. I think I'm going to stop writing now so I can go read.

What a waste?!

Ran into my old graduate professor at Costco yesterday. Hadn't seen him in several years. Introduced him to my lovely husband and boys. He asked what I am doing these days and I replied "I stay at home". He told me what I waste of my degree. In front of my family. Nice. Wow. Is this how people really feel about SAHMs?

Awesome blogspot

No, no not my blog. My fellow blogger friend B told me about a blogspot that I am now obsessed with. It's called www.betterafter.blogspot.com. Just have a look. 'Nough said.

Happy Birthday to Me

Yesterday was my birthday and my family was all down with the cold. The boys did not run a fever just had a cough so the three of us went bowling. Note to self: play only one game-little boys do not have the attention span for more than one.

My lovely husband has the flu/cold bug the worse and this weekend, he basically was miserable. I feel so bad for him because he seems to get so sick when he's down. Hopefully I won't come down with whatever this bug is...I still have awful flashbacks of the last time I got sick. EEEWWWW.

Allergic to new stuff

Nothing makes me happier than going garage saling on a sunny Saturday morning in the summer. Over the years, it's evolved from randomly following signs posted in the hopes that the sale is still going on to having the routes and times planned out so I can maximize scoring items like Fiestaware, kids' clothes, and fabric. Well, I have always preferred going shopping at a second-hand store than any new store. I find the neatest stuff there. Once, I found a Fiestaware spoon rest for $0.50!!!! I love finding clothes for myself and if possible I buy used before I would buy anything new.

Recently, we bought a new queen bed for our room because our bed has been at least 8 years old and it was a hand-me-down bed as it was. Then my mom-mobile van died and we decided to buy a new car because my lovely husband is sick of inheriting other people's problems buying used. Well, humor would have it that I am allergic to the "new" car smell (which is also the same smell on our new bed) identified as formaldehyde (a preservative). After two weeks of itching all night on my bed, we have moved it downstairs to air out and we have an old mattress in its place until then. And when I am in my car for more than 5 minutes, I am itchy and my skin flares up. So, I'm driving in 37 degree F weather with the window down and the heat blasting. I've been told I need to air out the car too. My husband teases that he can't buy me anything new-now if I could only find a car and bed at an estate sale...I'd be set. This is what I get for buying new things.

Boys update

Boys swimming while on an overnight visit to a nearby big city (hotel pool).

From time to time I will blog about my boys because I want to remember what they were like at this age. I am just so impressed with them just being little boys and using their imagination to play by themselves without me directing all the time. They will draw pictures of themselves, draw on each other (not so fun), and make drawings for friends and family. Right now, Koo is in such a helpful period. He will be the first to volunteer to get milk from the downstairs refrigerator, get the silverware for the table, or just overall helpout. The only time he isn't helpful is when it's time to clean his room or the toyroom.

S.E. is going through a little "testing his independance" by wanting to do everything by himself. He even thinks he knows what is best for him. Huhhh...not always cute when he decides he doesn't like wearing jeans anymore. He has always been hard to gather in my arms for a cuddle because he does not like that much physical affection (my family laugh at this because they say it described me). Lately, he has been letting lovely husband and I cuddle with him a little more. I'm loving it. He likes to play with Transformers and still loves to climb trees.

Both the boys have been taking swimming lessons this year and they are coming a long wonderfully. Their teacher has suggested S.E. be put in a higher level class where he will begin to swim a distance without aid because he is ready. Koo is coming along nicely too. He used to pitch a fit whenever his ears would get submerged but now he is going underwater with ease. Our goal has always been to prepare our boys as much as possible for life-not for them to be an Olympiad so they just learn at their own pace.

S.A.D.

Seasonal Affective Disorder. I've never been clinically diagnosed with this disorder but I am certain I suffer from it. Every year from the end of September until mid November-I am lethargic, depressed, tired, with a down-in-the-dumps attitude. I hate that it gets dark at 5pm. I don't feel like socializing or get motivated to do anything worthwhile when it gets dark just as my day gets going. This year it hasn't been as severe I think because I've been working out a lot. I just want the sun to not be so far away.

Half-Marathon

I did it!!! 2 hours and 25 minutes. My friends that ran the race with me were awesome and each with their own challenges to overcome to finish a task that seemed impossible. I don't have permission to post their pictures so you'll just have to visualize for yourselves how hot we must have looked after running for more than two hours and a crap load of fruit-fly bugs swarming us the entire time. Would I do it again? Definitely. If my body can handle it-I'm going to run.

The coolest thing about this race were the folks who put the race on were so laid-back and they bought anyone who did the race drinks at a local pizza parlor. Yummy beer and pizza afterwards with the best group of girls possible. Priceless!!!!

The -elle's

My husband has noticed a trend about my friends. This past year, I've met and gotten to know several women who've been an inspiration to me and enjoy their company. Lovely husband kept gettting confused because all three have and "elle" at the end of their names so gets confused when I mention them. At first I was frustrated with him because he couldn't keep the names and stories straight but then he mentioned the "elle" thing and then I ate grovel pie. Poor lovely.

CANNING

I think I'm a fruit-aholic or a fruit hoarder. I managed to get over 200 lbs. of FREE apples, 40 lbs. of Italian prunes, cucumbers, and red onion. So what do I do? I stuff them into jars. Oh my goodness...I've been busy...I just finished canning. I made applesauce, apple pie filling, plum jam, and refrigerator pickles. I am tired. I also have to get my house in tip-top shape for company this weekend and RUN a half-marathon. My poor neglected kids. Iowe Mr. Walt Disney and PBS some serious babysitting mon

Long Run

How do you get me to run longer than I think I can? Think that the distance I ran was only 7.5 miles-since I have to run 13.1 miles next weekend, I'd better run around the high school track 4 times to make it at least 8.5 miles right? Well, upon actually driving the route that I ran, it was more like 9.5 miles!!! It made me happy to know that I was able to do that. What made me kind of a sadist was roping my friend C into running it with me. She was a trooper because it was about 17 degrees F outside and her optimum running temperature is about 90 degrees F. Oops...

Hip-Hip Hooray!!!!!!!!!!!

In a previous blog, I was recently measured all over my body to track the progress of the weight-loss challenge I am participated in. Well, I stayed the same in my arms, waist, and calves. But I lost 2 inches around my hips!!! So exciting because I've got a lot of hips. More than necessary. So there you go. So awesome.

Gratitude...that's my attitude

I am just feeling so grateful. I have been luckiest girl in the world to be married to a loving and generous man. He is a great dad-our kids think he is better than He-Man. He's my Man. I love the way he is supportive about my crazy weight loss journey, my need to workout which infringes on our evening family time. He's just the best.

I'm grateful to all the people who help keep America safe. I was born in Vietnam during the war and although I don't remember details, I remember the feelings of not being secure or safe. I try to remember when I hear about the war going on in the Middle East that with every bad situation, God always balance this out with something good. We just have to find it. I know I am forever grateful to be able to come to America and given the chance to have the kind of life I have. I forget sometimes to be grateful for having all I do have.

With my family being sick all last month, I'm so grateful we are all feeling good and we are in great health overall. My boys are healthy and I watching them grow. I'm very lucky to get this opportunity-and I need to remind myself that it goes by really fast.

Lastly, I am so grateful to the hair-makers of hot rollers. It gives my hair volume and curl. So shallow, but oh well.

7.52 miles

I ran 7.52 miles today and I feel great. I thought I was going to die around mile 3 but did not want to scare my friend Cee too badly. Thanks to Rambo Trainer, my quads and hamstrings have been sore so running on top of this is just cruel. My fat is screaming at me right now. It doesn't like this much change. Must not eat sugar to feel better.

Sugar...oh honey, honey...

I've been trying to listen to my body better this past year to understand why I have such a weakness for sugary, baked goods. When I eat say a donut or cake-it never fills me up but it turns on some overeating valve in my brain and then I just want more of it or I eat everything else in sight.

This week, since this new challenge thing I'm doing, my trainer has asked us to turn in a food journal where he will scour through it during warm up. Next, he meets with us to help us find either better solutions or high-five us for our great choices. So, I have laid-off the sweets and I have found that I don't overeat or turn into the Tasmanian Devil in my kitchen. So, sweets you and I are not going to get cozy for the winter-I've got Rambo Trainer on my tail.

What would I do differently? I have been eating lots and lots of fruits and vegetables. I think I'm starting to sprout.

Measurements

I think I mentioned in a previous blog that I signed up for a weight loss challenge at the gym. There are three teams, each with a trainer, and at the end of eight weeks, the team and individual with the most weight lost-gets $350 in prizes. I have been stuck at this weight for three months and want to lose the last 10 lbs. So I signed up.

Last night was our first official workout and so the measurements were taken by our beefcake trainer. Yikes!!! Crap-o-la. Do you know how much jiggly-wiggly skin I have hidden under my workout pants and large T-shirt? UUUUGGGHHH. Had to do it-no choice. One more set of numbers to worry about. GREAT. Coming from a science background-I relied on instruments like scales and rulers to quantify change. I hate it when it's used against me to measure my weight and my girth.

I have a pear-shape body and have always had trouble pulling jeans past my hips. Before having kids, my hips were the go-to area when I would gain weight. Needless to say, I want my hips to be smaller. Back to the measurements, I had a waist of 31 1/2 inches and my hip were 39 1/2 inches. Cringe. I made an unlady-like grunt and my trainer told me it wasn't bad. I looked at him and said "Yeah, if I was starring in a rap video". Horrible. Since I opened my big mouth, he made me do extra wide squats to help my hips. All around cruel. In an attempt to save my life, I will no longer complain about any of my jigglies.

Thank goodness for other bloggers

I have been scraping myself out of my self-loathing and self-defeating attitude mode by reading blogs of people who have managed to lose weight and keep it off. This I know to be true among the weight-loss bloggers:

1) It's always going to be a battle
2) Being thin (ner) did not equal happiness
3) Old feelings and behaviors do not disappear upon reaching that magical number on the scale or single digit jean size
4) Not being comfortable in owning a thin body as when they were big and uncomforable
5) Find your happiness in whatever size/weight you are at right now because it doesn't magicially appear at 120 lbs.
6) There are no confetti and room full of people cheering for you when you reach your goal. So celebrate what success you have accomplished.

I'm doing it. Forget chasing the scale. Forget that I'm one huge meal away from Fat Me again. Just focus on what I have been doing to lose the weight I have lost. I'm celebrating by not stuffing my face.

No real monsters

We keep a bin with old Halloween costumes the boys love playing with-especially wearing the superhero costumes. Today one of the neighbor kids came over to play and the boys were dressed up in Power Ranger, Spider-Man, and Superman costumes. They are trying to defeat the bad guys.

Here's the conversation around the kitchen table while they were taking a snack break (canteloupe):

S.E.: "You know my dad said there's no real monsters."
Friend: "Yeah, I know."
Koo: "Yes there is!"
S.E.: "Maybe if there are monsters, my dad can make a kid spud gun and we can shoot potatoes at the monsters."
Friend: "Okay."

It's just too cute the things that come out of little boys' mouths. As I was raised in a family with four girls, I'm still trying to get used to raising boys.

Fear and loathing in my body...

I hate this whole craziness with weight and what I look like or how healthy I should strive to be. I have been hit with the big, fat, old me self syndrome and all I seeing and thinking right now is how big I feel. I not to giving myself credit for losing over 20 lbs. and working really hard to keep it off.

I am afraid of success or getting to a weight that should make me magically happy. It's not and there will never be that number. I am working on learning to like what I see in the mirror instead of obsessing over the jiggly parts I still have floating around. Why can't my mental self catch up with my physical self so I can not want to eat everything in sight to try to make it better. So self-defeating...awful.

hungry, hungry Hippo

Boy this past weekend I was a points wreck-overboard. It was horrible. I was tired yesterday and wanted chocolate. Stop. The only time I want chocolate is two days before my period which should happen for another two weeks. But no, I just started today-again (TMI-I'm sorry). It made me feel a little better about why I have been wanting to bake and eat everything in sight. Tonight is the first night of my exercise training called "Lose the Excuses" challenge. Eight weeks. Trainer. Winner gets $350. Last 10 lbs. must go.

De-cluttering

I just watched the scariest show ever put on TV on the A & E channel. The show is called "Hoarders" and it's gross and disturbing. This show follows people who have a problem getting rid of anything. Now all hoarders save the same thing but one thing is the same in each home of a hoarder-it's cluttered and dirty. It's always been a fear of mine that I might become a hoarder. My mom has a mild case of it because she doesn't like to get rid of anything. She will only really get rid of something if she gives it to someone. Usually when I come back from visiting her, I do a mini de-cluttering of my house in response to all the clutter in her home.

So today, armed with the memories of the show and my genetic predisposition to keep everything, I am going through each room, closet, underneath each bed and anywhere in my house where I have shoved unwanted stuff I don't want to deal with and either bagging it up to take to the local thrift store, make use of it, or just plain chuck it. This fall clean-up and de-cluttering event helps me less cranky about being stuck in my house when the snow comes.


It makes me feel better to get the clutter out of my house but this year what's has been hard is getting rid of the "toddler-type" toys they don't play with anymore but I haven't had the heart to part with. If I continue to store it in hopes of someone making use of it when they come to play-it just makes a big mess in the family room and just sits there. So, I am trying to be a big girl and get rid of it. I am just not that organized and won't remember that it's there.

I'm a blog stalker

I have been stalking this one particular blog written by a lady who is just awesome. She is just so cool. She's a WW leader, sews, a stay-at-home mom, and she has the most interesting recipes on her site. She's very inspirational. She lost 80 lbs. and has kept it off for years. LOVE HER.

I wish I enjoyed blogging as much as her or have 30 hours in a day instead of 24 hrs. Here's her site in case anyone stumbling onto my blog wants to look at what a real blog should look like: www.thewwchick.blogspot.com.

Taste of Home

I love the magazine Taste of Home. It has the most wonderful stories of regular people sharing and enjoying their experiences with cooking. No gourmet, hoity-toity flair in this magazine-just yummy recipes that are usually right on the money. Here's a recipe I made this morning for the boys and they LOVED it. Best of all, once I typed it into the Weight Watchers recipe builder, two pancakes were only 2 points (my regular pancake recipe is 3 points /pancake)!!!! I haven't had pancakes in a long time but now that I've got this recipe-I will be sure to put it into the rotation.

Applesauce Oatmeal Pancakes (Taste of Home April/May 1994)
1 cup quick-cooking oats
1/4 cup whole wheat flour
1/4 cup all purpose flour
1 TBSP baking powder
1 cup skim milk
2 TBSP applesauce
4 egg whites

Combine dry ingredients in a bowl. Add wet ingredients and mix. Let sit about 2 minutes. Pour batter by 1/4 cupfulls onto a heated griddle coated with nonstick cooking spray. Flip after about 1 1/2 minutes. Serve warm with syrup and leftover applesauce. 2 pancakes / serving

Like

I love the word like. I use it so much as a filler in conversations and it's really getting annoying. I wonder if I need to fine myself a 2 additional minutes on the treadmill or spin bike. If only I can catch myself at all time...

Sports

Koo is showing some coordination in the sports area. He can connect 90% of the time when playing baseball with myself or Eric. He is getting his little stance and enjoys playing. The only problem with letting him play with others is obvious-he may use the bat for thuggish reasons. I don't know what to do about his hitting, scratching, and pushing.

This year, S.E.'s swimming has been coming along nicely. In today's swim lesson, he was able to swim to the teacher a bit without any help. I believe the swim lessons are making a difference in addition to him being more confident because he is understanding the whole being in the water thing.

scratch your heart out...

Koo has developed a very bad habit of scratching his brother when he is frustrated. I have tried almost everything: time outs, take favorite blankie away, spank, talk, isolation. Nothing seems to work and today when he did it-I decided I wasn't going to be an example insanity on this issue (doing same thing over and over thinking I'll get a different result).

So, I very calmly got a towel and made Koo sit down and scratch his heart out. He had to KEEP SCRATCHING. Once he was tired of scratching, I made him put his tennis shoes on and run around the outside of our home. He crying and carrying on about how he didn't want to scratch anymore and that he couldn't run. Upset and tired, once he calmed down, I hugged him and talked to him about not scratching S.E. and how this is not how we deal with being mad or not getting his way. Then I outline how this will be even longer if he chooses to scratch his brother again. I hope this works for a spell. I have so much to learn and I am just getting older and lazier.

Get in my belly

Me: "S.E. you are getting too big, can you be a baby again?"
S.E.: "Sure mom, I will get a machine and shrink down and you can cut your tummy up and put me in there."
Me: "Okay."
S.E.: "Mom, can I bring my Transformer too?"

He is getting so big and he has been growing-I am so grateful to have gotten to stay home to watch them grow. Too fast.

Counting my blessings

So I've been in a funky mood for the past month or so and have not been inspired to appreciate how much I have in my life. It's time for a reality check of all my blessings instead of my short-comings.

• I'm in the best shape of my life
• I have the most wonderful husband
• My kids are delicious and I am thankful to have two of the most healthy boys
• I have a home and don't have to worry too much about what's going on with the recession
• I have health insurance
• I have great friends
• I have my eyesight so I can read lots and lots of books
• I love cooking
• I keep on trying to do better

Sometimes when I am feeling depressed, my insecurities really take hold and I can't find my way out for days. I think these are normal feelings but I really don't like them. As cheesy as the list above is-I need to see it in writing to help me get out of my pity party.

Boys in School!!!

I can't believe Koo and S.E. started Preschool this week and I haven't blogged about it. I was very happy to see them so excited to attend school because it gives them a chance to get away from me. I haven't been the best project/activities mom lately so having them in classrooms where they get to paint, sing, dance, and read to frequently-they are in heaven. The boys play so much better when they've had a break from each other. Don't we all?

I bit of me is sad to see how big the boys are getting. I'm mixed up about having time to myself. I don't know how to deal with it yet-I run around and get all the errands I can accomplish in the two hours I hav done so I can just be home with the boys. I need to get a better schedule with working out and work around the house while they are gone.

Sick, sick, sick...part 2

We are still sick. I have one day of feeling normal and it gets taken away by the return of body aches and chills, queasy stomach, lethargic, and now Koo is starting to exhibit symptoms. Mr. Uber virus, you've made your point-you are all powerful. I concede. Please go away.

sick, sick, sick

The itty bitty bug caught me and took me down hard this past week. I am finally recovering although my voice has not fully returned. This is the second consecutive September where I have been in bad health. Last year, I stepped on a piece of wicker basket and infected my left foot to the point that I was laid up on the couch for a week.

This year, as I reocver from this flu and eating everything, I get a little sad. I hate the beginning of school and now that the boys are going to start next week at preschool-I get anxious like I'm the one starting school. It really never ends huh? How cruel that we finally celebrate no more school, just to be pulled back in by my kids going to school.

I have to be honest and admit I have not been a good parent for a good month now. I have had little patience and have not been finding joy in parenting. My heart is out of the game and I am worn down by the monotony and frustration that comes with trying to not lose my cool when the %$#@ hits the fan (which happens every 30 minutes). In the past, I would go seek out books or call friends to help me get out of this funk, but frankly I don't care right now. Calgone, take me away.

All this ho-hum attitude I hope is from my weakened immune system and frail muddled mind. Hopefully, my cup will be half full again soon and I can begin to appreciate my kids for what they are-kids.

August...nightmare weight month

I have been checking a few other blogs and it appears I am not alone in my summertime gaining of L-B's. So when it was all said and done with camping, taking care of a lot of kids 24-7, vacation, and not getting to the gym to strength train-I ended up at 129.5 lbs. Yikes!!! That's 3.5 lbs more than I had at the end of July.

So, I had a week to get back into the groove and practice my learned tried and true WW program and exercise-I am down to 128 lbs. at last night's weigh-in. I've been teetering on getting to so close to my goal weight just to sabotage myself somehow (i.e. bake a massive cherry pie). I am resolved to stop resisting success. I am afraid that I don't know what to do with having achieve this goal so I've been subconsciously sabotaging my hard efforts of the past 7 months.

New attitude came in the form of last night's meeting when I looked around and talked to two sweet ladies that had still 100 lbs. to lose to reach goal and they are still trekking along. They each have lost over 60 lbs. so far. So inspirational and humbling at the same time. What the heck do I have to whine about? I'm so close.

With this in mind, I went to the gym and participated in a Total Body workout session with the gym's Uber trainer and my butt, stomach, and the rest of the body parts kicked back into gear. I can't laugh today-it hurts too much. I'm avoiding any funny people today. I believe in trainers. They are should work for the CIA, FBI and all the other government abbreviated agencies that might need to use torture to gather information. Bring on the pain. Must not laugh...

Raspberry Freezer Jam

Super yummy. A friend of mine asked me to make her some freezer raspberry jam because it's her favorite. Sure. Why not? Five batches and 20 pints later...for her. I'll keep three jars becasue only my men can eat them. I am allergic to raspberry. How unfair is that? No raspberry jam over ice cream, homemade bread, or plain yogurt.

Oh yeah and the rest of the leftover raspberry for pie? None for me. Terrible injustice. I love pies. I'm mad about fruit pies. Way better than anything chocolate. I want to swim like Michael Phelps if it means there's a pie island in sight. I want to come back as a super skinny person who doesn't gain weight and competitively eat pies for a living. But no raspberry pie for me. Thank goodness for neighbors.

Lazy

I am feeling so lazy and unmotivated...I can't even find the motivation to blog. Laaaazzzy. But I think I have a reason...
I think my body is objecting to the wheat/legume harvesting that has been going on the past few weeks so my allergies have been going haywire. So between allergy medicine and not enough sleep, I'm the missing dwarf-Loopy.

I'm not M.I.A., just super busy. In the past two weeks, I've had three extra kids at my house for eight days. They are my sister-in-law's children visiting us while their parents jetted off to Maui for a bit of holiday. Taking care of five kids sure puts things in perspective when I usually only have my two boys. Two kids seem like a breeze now.

I am back on track with counting my WW points. I have been too overwhelmed with taking care of kids that I haven't had time or desire to eat good foods. Stress eating was at its finest example folks. I have gained three pounds back and now I've got lose those three in addition to the two I need to reach goal weight.

On a bright note, I did make myself wake up early to run. I think that was the difference between what I used to do (overeat, feel bad, and not workout) to now even if I trip up-I still workout to combat my overindulgence.

One thing I have to come to terms with better is that this weight loss journey is forever. I can't just get to my goal weight and then pig out. I still have to eat less, move more, keeping this formula in balance.

I have been so tired. I can't seem to get enough sleep and being sleepy makes me hungry. I believe allergies in the air is causing the most of the problem but also I think I'm forgetting to eat filling foods. Whenever I stray and eat more processed foods, I get hungry faster. This is true for my kids. If they have cold cereal for breakfast, they are hungry within an hour. The same holds true for any snack or food I give them that involves opening a package (i.e. chips, crackers, granola bars). So knowing this I have my beans soaking and fruits ready to give them instead. When I give them fruit with nuts and dairy, I observe them to be less moody.

Snooze Blogger

It has become apparent to myself that I have the most boring blog out there. I am in a writing funk and I really don't have much to report in my life that I want posted forever. So what's a girl to do?!

Growing up with three sisters and one brother, we would make up dumb sayings like ones you'd find inside fortune cookies. However, in our case it was never anything inspiring or smart.

Here's mine for the day.

"One who eats many cherries make many flushes." I went cherry picking today. 'Nough said.

My lovely

I forget to mention how much I love my husband. He is my most favorite in the whole wide world. Without him, I wouldn't have the life that I love now and two little spitfire boys. How lucky am I?

You do the math

While I was away from home on vacation "camping" good times were had. It boils down to this: What do you get when you drink every night and eat cake, cheesecake, and brats? You gain three pounds. Yikes!!!

I don't normally drink but I was on vacation and we were introduced to yummy Huckleberry Vodka. Harmless if you drink it with diet Dr. Pepper. NOT! Especially if you stay up late and get the munchies with it.

I'm a big girl, I can take the three pounds and just get back on the wagon. I will take my consequences when I weigh in on Wednesday.

I am in a funk with my weight loss program. I am getting burnt out of taking care of myself and I have to snap out of it. I am eating more than I should and I am now two pounds away from my goal weight and I can't buck up and shed these two stinking pounds.

With the recent emotional turmoil in my life, I've been wanting to deal with the problems by baking and eating my way through it. Crap...old crappy behavior rears its' ugly head.

On the bright side, I am armed with new coping tools and I used them. I tapped into a couple of old timers at WW last night who are still trekking along after losing over 100 lbs with still 30 more to go. I gained insight and heard words of encouragement to not let slipping up ruin tomorrow's points.

I wasn't making myself a priority again and trying to please everyone else while my self-esteem kept taking a beating was not good. I digress, the bright side...I only gained 0.2 lbs this week considering I ate almost half a cherry pie and apricot cobbler. So gross, I know.

So today, I tracked and stayed within my points. I have to refocus and remember why I'm doing it-my health.

Cup refilled

Sorry to be such a downer on the last blog. I am a person that lets problems fester until I burst and usually I blow up at whoever's near. Not classy at all because it's usually my kids and husband that take the heat. Well all three of my men got it yesterday and I swore I felt lower than dirt afterwards, but once I unload what is bothering me-I can let it go.

So today, I am not angry, impatient, and basically a downer to be around. I can look at my filled cup and count my good fortune.

I know this much is true about me, I don't have a lot of confidence in my parenting. I grew up in a family where I had to take on a huge chuck of helping my younger siblings from the time they were little to past high school graduation. I didn't give up my "mother" role to them until I moved away to college. I was not a good mother then because while I did the best I could, I would get frustrated sometimes and get angry and take it out on them. It would make me feel like dirt. I used to tell myself that I can stop being a mom when they grow up. I didn't imagine I would have kids of my own.

So here I am with those feelings and when I resort back to old behaviors of parenting (i.e. yelling and losing it), I go into panic mode and feel like I'm failing my kids now too. I'm trying my hardest to be a better parent to my kids then I was to my siblings but sometimes I don't know how to change.

I'm trying to change though and sometimes, I'm not going to be any good at being a mom but I will keep on trying to do better by my kids and husband.

Cup half empty...

I think I'm usually a cup half full kind of person, but recently I can't seem to find the joy in any area of my life. Isn't that just horrible? There is nothing catastrophic or tragic to send me into this mood, in fact, my kids and husband are healthy and I am in the best shape of my life. How come I can't seem to not be the biggest Grump about anything?

One area that really bothers me is how I've been a hot/cold mom. I don't have the patience for my kids, yelling at them is the only way I can seem to get them to mind, and Koo has been having the biggest hissy fits. I'm tired of people telling me how to parent and I understand they are trying to help but what ends up happening is I doubt myself and then I back off on parenting until they do something to set me off. I'm role modeling horrible behaviors for them and at this point I don't even care. I take out my insecurities about parenting on them.

As my friend C said, I hope the kids can get a group rate on counseling once they get older to get over the trama of moms.

Like I said, I usually will keep trying to better myself and my parenting but right now, I don't have a drop in my cup.

I have dieter's fatigue. I am in a rut and I want to eat bad, bad food. Must snap out of it. I am one pound away from goal and I can't seem to focus. My friend C and I went running yesterday and it was hot and humid. Like a dork, I wore long sausage casings (leggings) and I was burning up. It is getting stored for until winter arrives.

Like a broken record, I'm going to remind myself of why I need to lose weight and how far I've come.
Diabetes anyone? No, thanks.
Weighing in the 120's? Fabulous.
Knees don't hurt from carrying all my extra fat. Wonderful.
Got rid of all my size 12 and 14 clothes. 'Nough said.

I'm outed!!!

When S.E. was a baby, he was really into Buzz Lightyear. When he was two, we watched Toy Story 1 and 2 and he just loved them. He had a particular Buzz that his cousin gave him and he carried it in his hand for 6 months. I mean at all times he had it in his hands. He finallly broke the habit when he lost it. As any good distracted mom would, I would let him watch it over and over when I got overwhelmed or needed a break from constant kid activities. Well, then I began to really enjoy the humor of these two movies since I had watched it at least 50 times. I love them and I must say, I have a little crush on Mr. Space Ranger himself.

My kids are no longer obsessed with Buzz Lightyear but I still like him a lot. So, you can only imagine what a great time I had in Disneyland when I got to see him and go on the Buzz Lightyear ride where we get to shoot Emporer Zurg. FUN. FUN.

Crazy girls

My boys say the funnest things when we are driving around. Here's one with S.E. yesterday.

"S.E., we have swim lessons again next week."
"But mom, the girls are crazy about me." (He and Koo have swimming lessons with two sisters very close to their respective ages).
"Really S.E. What do you mean?"
"Mom, all the girls want to play with me. They keep saying, 'S.E. I want to play with you'. See mom? I don't have time to play with all the girls and that's why they are crazy for me."

Humble little S.E. has such heavy problems. Considering my lovely husband didn't consider himself as a ladies man in his single days, his little S.E. is quite the girl magnet.

I'm back!!!

So Disneyland was great and the boys had such a blast going on rides and seeing all their favorite characters. I was a little tired midweek but overall a blast. The highlights were: seeing Buzz Lightyear, seeing the boys reactions to Pirates of the Caribbean, fast passes for rides, and the swimming pools at the HoJo Plaza. There were three firsts for me: first on roller coasters (loved it), first seeing anything in 3-D, and I bought not one but two souvenir T-shirts for myself at inflated prices.

...3...2...1...Disneyland

My household is in a frenzy with all the bubbling excitement of Disneyland. I am one part excited, two parts anxious, and one part tired. I just want the vacation to start. I am kind of scared that I might get out of control on my eating since I won't be in my own kitchen. I just have to rely on the WW points booklet and PORTION SIZE. Why am I such a dingbat at this issue?

In other dingbat news:
Last night, I had an awesome workout. I went to the gym, ran for 0.5 mile. Next, strength trained all my body parts for 35 minutes. My legs and arms were screaming for mercy but I didn't stop there. I was going to jump on the treadmill to run 3 miles just to get some more cardio in, but couldn't bring myself to get on the treadmill. I knew that if I got on that machine, I would be able to hit stop at any moment.

So, I packed up my stuff and place them in my car...and I went for a run outside. I kept going and going. I figured I jogged close to three miles. Today, I drove the route and it was 5 miles!!! No wonder I am sore and crabby today. UUUGGGHHH. Maybe it's time to shell out for a pedometer.

"Mom, I made a book of our family. That's Koo, me, you, and dad. I draw your faces with your favorite color. Do you love it?" -S.E.

Self portrait of S.E. He said he put a smile because he is very happy to have his family. I swear that kid pulls on all my heartstrings. He is so loving. I can't get enough of his round face. How lucky I feel that God trusted me to have such a treasure like him.

Roll with it baby

Being 128 lbs. doesn't look like what I had envision this weight to look like. I thought my thigh rolls and my tummy rolls would shape up and go away. Nope. I am just a smaller size of my same fat self. I wasn't ready for this. I am trying to come to terms with the knowledge that my body will not ever be bikini ready.

On the bright side, my arms and legs are shaping up nicely. I feel that there's a slight definition to my arms and I'm so grateful my legs have carried me this far. In addition, by buttocks are firming up. So perhaps I will never be able to do a Valerie Bertinelli bikini reveal but with two little boys always tugging at me...would it be wise?!

The circus came to town

Seriously, the circus came to a neighboring town so the boys and I went. As far as traffic, weather, and crowd-it was great. The boys were mesmerized but they kept looking for the very, very tall man and clowns. Both were missing but here's a couple of pictures of some of the events.

Koo's career in Public Works

I swear Koo is training for a job with the Sanitation division of Public Works. He can't pass a drain, pile of debris, insects,or wadded gum without stopping to investigate. By investigate I mean, pick it up and play with it or stomp on it with his size 9 shoes. If I would let him, he would have a sculpted Transformer made out of old gum from the streets. EEEWWWWW. Totally gross. S.E. just scrunches his face up in disgust because he thinks what Koo is doing is so wrong. I agree.

Why can't he have this much gusto with picking up his toys and putting them away. One the bright side, as a daughter of an immigrant, it's never too early to start job training.

Disneyland

We are going to Disneyland. Like my children, I have never been there. My lovely husband has been many times growing up. His parents loved it so much it was in their yearly plan-and still is. So, this year having saved and saved to get rid of all our debts (we have been debt-free except the house for 7 months now). So,we paid for our trip and are leaving in eight days.

To relieve some of my anxiety associated with not being ready, I have packed the boys' and my luggage last night. I wanted to be ready but mostly I wanted to do a test run to make sure everything would fit. This is our first trip flying, where we have limited space for our stuff. I also didn't want our bags to be so heavy that it would be impossible to push it along with keeping track of our kids.

I am a little nervous for Disneyland and have concerns but I'm going to try to look at it through my kids' eyes and just enjoy.

I hope this trip is not going to be a remake of National Lampoon's Vacation with Chevy Chase...

Elephant Ears

Do those two words conjure up diet sabotage?! This is how much I love my lovely husband. We were talking last night with our friends about how much we love elephant ears at fairs. Don't we all?! I have never been able to enter a fair and pass up one. Well the circus is coming to town on Tuesday (literally) and I'm bringing my own traveling circus crew out to see if they got anything on mine. Well, somehow we couldn't get off the subject of elephant ears and how I could bring one home to my lovely when I mentioned that I can make them from scratch at home.

Stop the music. I don't think my lovely knew I could do this. His big blues started and he gave me the look. The please-make-it-PLEASE... look. Since it was his birthday I said of course.

To not railroad my quest for skinny me, I exercised my heart out at the gym this morning and when I got home, promptly made him elephant ears and maple frosting (from scratch too). They were delicious...oops, how would I know right? Well, I had to have one of course.
I sent most to our neighbors (sorry) though. I don't feel badly because I still had a lot of my flex points left unlike last week's apple pie nosedive. I really like the Weight Watchers program.

Now, that confessional is over...on with the program.

Lovely's birthday

Dear lovely husband,
Happy birthday to the man of my dreams. I am forever grateful that you were born and found me. You are my Prince Charming and then some. Thank you for the two little spunky kids and for making me feel like I am cooler than I have ever been. I can't wait to spend all your birthdays with you.

Weight Watchers Roadkill

I ate over all my daily points as well as my flex points and kept on eating. It was horrible. I was tired and grumpy for no reason whatsoever. It stinks when old behaviors sneak up on you and you are left with a full belly and feelings of failure and regret.

I literally had to get away from the kitchen so I went down to my basement where my sewing machine and made a bag for Koo's "teacher" at the library. While I was down there sewing away, my training partner called and she wanted to go for a run. How awesome is that when I was loathing myself to be picked up like that? We ended up going for a 4 mile run and got a pep talk which has helped me get back on track today. That's why I love this program. You fall, cry about it, then get right back up because all the support is there if you look for it.

Is that you mom?

I have this thought that my kids won't be able to identify my face. This is partly their fault because I am bent over most of the day picking up toys, food crumbs, spilled milk, tying shoes, etc., etc., etc. Right now, I'm sure they are only able to find me in a large crowd by my rear end.

Today, BOTH boys went to summer camp for 2 1/2 hours for the first time. Both kids. That means me not having to hurry, snap on a seatbelt, or be distracted as I went on my errands to Walmart and grocery store. It was nice. Very nice. I could get used to this. Yes I am spoiled. But it was really too quiet when I came home and I missed them. My thoughts kept drifting to how they are doing. Mostly, I hoped Koo was listening to the teachers.

mow, mow, mowing the lawn...

I've been mowing the lawn this year to help my lovely do other projects around the house. So I started mowing the lawn once a week. My love would fill the mower with gas and off I'd go. I don't like doing any yard work but I don't mind mowing because it's exercise. I'm not very good at it because I can't mowing in any cool designs or get all the grass along the edges or hills because I could barely hold on to the heavy, loud machine.

Well, my lovely has been setting the mower higher each week to keep the grass a little longer in order to protect from the hot sun the next few months. So, I've been mowed twice in one week. Hey, I didn't sign up for this. I think he's pulling my leg. I don't remember him mowing this frequently.

Another thing about mowing the lawn, the male neighbors come by and razz my lovely about how he got me to mow the lawn and how they can get their wives to do it. Now, I'm making enemies?! I don't know about this exercise aspect of it because it's only 2 activity pts. for WW.

Oh well, if it helps my lovely and I get exercise, I'll continue to mow.

And to the dog that keeps making my lawn his personal toilet, I am on to you-I know what your duty looks like and I will find you.

Bacon

I love bacon. It not only taste good but is so versatile- many uses to liven up any dish. My boys like to eat bacon with their oatmeal that has been drizzled with maple syrup. I like mine anyway I can sneak it in with minimal impact on my thighs. There's no substitute for it-no matter how many people try to convince me turkey bacon taste the same...it doesn't. Why have bacon if you're not going have real bacon?

Being on this new way of life eating has been very interesting. The old me would devour whatever bacon would be left on the plate in addition to what I had already eaten. Now, I cut one slice in half and eat it slowling and leisurely making it last. Then, I walk away. It's 1.5 pts. I still get to eat bacon. I just don't a whole hog's worth anymore.

Baby's Got Back!

I've heard many times that I needed to switch up my exercise routine in order to avoid "muscle fatigue" or whatever where your body gets used to a certain exercise so you don't get the same effect as when you first started doing it. I really enjoy running. Now instead of running 3 miles, I run 4.5 to 5 miles and sprint here and there. Well yesterday I challenged myself to try the spinning bike for longer than 10 minutes. I dislike biking but I hate the elliptical machine more.

So, off I went spinning my little heart out for 30 minutes and I stood up the entire time except for three 10 second breaks. Can you say sore buns? Painfully sore. I am envisioning my buns looking like Beyonce or J.Lo after this workout. I looked in the mirror...nope. Just pain. Can't even laugh about it b/c it hurts too much. I even downloaded Sir-Mix-Alot's "Baby's got Back" for motivation on my MP-3 player. I'm definitely going to spin once or twice a week to rest my knees and perhaps burn a few more calories.

P.S. I weighed in at 129.2 last night.

Birthday Cake

A friend of mine is a very talented cake decorated and she made this wonderful cake for S.E.'s birthday bowling party. The cake was chocolate and the frosting is to die for. I always make allowance on my WW plan to eat this cake. I don't care that it's like 8 points. Totally worth it. It was so much fun to see the little kids bowl, eat pizza, cake, and not have to clean up afterwards. Beautiful. I highly recommend it if you can budget the cost in.

rainy days and Mondays always get me down...

What I hate about my lovely having a day off from work for vacation or holiday time is I get used to having him around all the time just to have him leave back to work. I love having him around the house or at my fingertips when I want to hug or kiss him (sorry if it's TMI kids). I love having him around so much, that I literally mourn his loss the morning he leaves back for work. As he got up this morning to get ready to head into the office, I snuggled up to his pillow and smelled his scent. I grunted and whined that I wish he had just one more day at home. Tragic huh? I'm sad my lovely's gone but logically I know he'll be back in the evening. It just doesn't seem like enough time...can't he just retire now? Oh yeah, you can't live on love alone...reality stinks.

I can't even imagine what it's like for a little one to have to be left at daycare each day without the timeframe to know what time parents are returning to get them.

New and improved rolls?!

If there is one thing that is discouraging during this weight loss journey, it's the disproportionate distribution of the fat. While I notice a difference in my overall size, my thigh and belly rolls are still there and present. I asked a trainer what I do to tighten all the wiggle and jiggle around my midsection-he mentioned that it was going to be the last to go and no amount of spot training alone will shrink it. Eating habits and Cardio. What did he think I've been doing this past five months?

I know I'm being picky and vain but bathing suit season is on my heels and I need to not let my jelly roll around this summer while I am at the water park with my kids. I just thought weighing less would look different you know? It's like when I had my boys and weighed a lot less a week after delivery-however nothing fit but maternity clothes. Note to body: stop shrinking my girls and instead attack the bellyfat...please?!

And the winner is...Kris Allen?!!!!?!!?

No. Way.
Five months of tuning in and voting and Kris Allen wins?! No one expected this.

For the past three seasons, my lovely and I have been watching American Idol faithfully. We danced to it, we had AI parties inviting our friends over for dinner to watch the show, and just plain cuddled up to each other to watch regular people sing different versions of familiar songs. We make sure we vote for who we want to advance. Plus, we love Simon Cowell and his antics. I love a good sourpuss who says it like it is.



So, after rescheduling my life every Tuesday and Wednesday for five months. Tuesday night was the finale and we voted our hearts out for Adam Lambert who is undoubtly the frontrunner and most talented...he lost to Kris Allen. I am in shock and disbelieve. Oh well, at least there's always next year.

Spring cleaning

All it takes is the weather to change and I can't remember where I left the boxes of the boys summer clothes to send me into my "Is this the beginning of Alzcheimer's?" panic which results in purging and re-organizing closets that have been stuffed with all the junk I've shoved in there for the past year or so. After two days of purging, I was able to locate the boys boxes of summer clothes and I am calm again.

This is how my spring cleaning kicks into full gear. Also the beginning of garage sale season is here and I need to make room for all the "maybe I might need this" stuff I bring home.

Other then the fear of losing my mind, the only time I get my butt into deep organizing is when my extended family call me up to say "we are coming to visit this weekend". Yikes!!!

After that much purging and cleaning, I feel like I can move around my house without the fear of hurting myself whenever I open a closet door or drawer.

Now...where is that ice cream maker?! Here we go again...

Happy Birthday to S.E.

On the heels of Mother's Day, my firstborn S.E. turned five today. He looks so big and small at the same time. I am so grateful to the powers that be for allowing me to be his mommy. I love him to bits. Things about S.E. the 5 year-old:

• loves playing with Transformers, Power Rangers


• learned to answer the phone today to talk to family and friends wishing him a happy birthday


• hates shirts with tags attached in the back


• LOVES ketchup on everything


• can't bribe with sweets


• compassionate and thoughtful to others


• king of run-on sentences that make NO sense together (example: "Mom I run faster because I'm five now and it makes me run faster to wear these shoes")


• great tree climber (but very cautious)


• saves his Preschool snack cookie wrapped in a napkin to share with is brother

I love you baby boy and I will forever look at May 13th as the day you defined me by giving my life a purpose.

Duped into doing something awesome!

Here's the conversation last Wednesday with my training partner.
"Can you believe we actually did Bloomsday?! We ran 7.46 miles!!"
"We can do this again."
"I think we should go for a long run Saturday."
"I think I have a route in mind that might be 7 miles."

So off we went with our friend C.B. on Saturday to go for our close-to-7 miles. My legs were sore for the first two miles and I was a little worried that I collapse but at around mile 4 (I'm guessing mind you), I was in a zone and felt like I've already gone this far-what's another few miles?

About a mile from my house where we started, there's a killer hill on Hall Street (one that makes Doomsday hill seem like a molehill), my training partner took off and was in the lead. She was awesome!!! Considering two months ago, she had to walk a part of it-it was amazing to see her progess. All this while her shoes still didn't fit right. At the end, we were tired but not as much as when we finished Bloomsday so we went off happy.

Yesterday, curiousity got the better of us and we drove the run to figure out how far we ran. We ran 8.2 miles!!! Whoa!!! We started laughing because I think if we knew ahead of time that we were going to go THAT far, I'm not sure I would have done.

How neat was that?! I am so grateful for my training partner and C.B. for being there to push me along.

My new nickname for my training partner is Hall Slayer.

130 lbs!!!!

Last night at my WW meeting, I was nervous for the weigh-in because it was a make or break moment. The past four weeks, I've been up and down 0.4 lbs. and it was frustrating. Well, on the heels of the 12k run, I weighed 130 lbs.!!! What!!! That was a 3 lbs. lost this week. My body sure feels it because I am still sore from the workouts. But the biggie was I kept really good track of my points and didn't stray (not a bite undocumented).

Backtrack a few days ago when I got home from my 12k run, my husband cleaned our bedroom and filed paperwork into our filing cabinet. He found the file of old driver's license cards and found my driving permit one (I was 15 1/2 years old). The weight on it was 130 lbs. He was excited and thought it would be great motivation for me to visualize what I would look like at that weight. I laughed hard when I saw the card posted on our bathroom mirror because didn't he know everyone lies on their driver's license about their weight?! (I think I shaved off 5 lbs. on that particular card).

So, I am officially that weight for real. Now if I can have the smooth skin and energy of a 15 year-old...

sew, sew, sew your chair

(Before and after of my kitchen chairs)

I have been doing some amatuer upholstering and sewing for about 4 years. I really love it. My mom makes custom draperies and re-upholsters furniture for a living. She is awesome at it and she's about to retire so I want to learn. What lead a science geek to go into upholstery?!

When Koo was a few months old, I developed contact dermitis from being in constant contact with chemicals causing my skin to break out in red, itchy bloches all over my body. It still is a problem to this day. I know chemicals like chlorine, hand sanitizers, and some ingredients in soap plays havoc on my system. But I digress, so thinking that one day I would have to go back to work once my little boys start public school-I want to have a flexible job that I can be there for them at a moment's notice. Plus, I want to continue to spend time with my lovely husband at lunch.

Due to my skin problems and family, I most likely won't be able to return to labwork because of all the chemicals used. So that's what has lead me to upholstery. Plus my mom gave me a few industrial sewing machines that rival any sweatshop.

Airing out my dirty laundry

I don't like doing laundry. I don't mind the washing and dry part. I hate not being able to get all the stains out usually because I just shove the clothes into the washer. Then I get anxious about having a load sit there for more than four hours because of the mold smell that might develop. Usually, I shrink something I don't mean to because I forget to not dry it. Then the worst of it all, folding and ORGANIZING stacks and stacks of clothes to put away into drawers that are messy because I have to shove the stacks in there to make it all fit. And just when I think I'm done and all caught up and let my guard down...I turn the corner and like a Chia pet, I've got an overflowing basket of dirty clothes piled up.

12K

My workout partner and I ran our first 12K this weekend. Here's what I know:

• I didn't collapse running the longest distance in my life


• How much faster I ran (finished 1 hour 28 minutes)


• How many young kids participated (I hope my boys will want to do this in the future)


• How many people wore bad/wrong shoes for running


• How many people stopped for an ice cream bar in the middle of the run?!


• How much my arms hurt (now I know why distance runners have such nice arms)


• How quickly I said "Now we train for a half-marathon"

I couldn't have done this race without the support of my lovely husband. He made it possible for me to train by looking after our children and for working so hard so I could get the help in achieving this feat. This run was huge for me because I am afraid of large crowds being so short and how out-of-shape I was...

Last but not least, I couldn't do this without God. Thank you God for looking out for me.

Microbes 1 v. My Family 0

Dear itty bitty microscopic bugs,
Could you please leave my family and I alone? I'm tired of fighting with you. My boys noses can't take anymore of me running after them to wipe the goopy, yellow muck that runs from it. The Kleenex company stocks are skyrocketing thanks to my usage of three boxes in two weeks. My lovely husband can't get you out of his head and it's been four months. Your lease is up in our bodies. I don't have a complete game plan to eradicate you yet. Don't make me go all Clorox bleach, antimicrobial wipes, and Purell on you. Do I need to resume my Bubble Boy practices on you?!

Thanks for sending that extra special virus to infect my ears and make me want to chuck my daily 20 points worth of food this past week. It's been fun. Now leave. I am willing my third-world immunity to step in and make me feel better.

Husband? Where Art Thou?!

My lovely is once again traveling for work but this time for the entire week. UUGGHHH!! How do single parents do it? I hate it when he is out of town. Although in lovely's defense, he really didn't want to go to this conference because he has to give a presentation on the last day of the conference. That means, no relief of the knot in his tummy until the curtain closes on the final day. Gross!!! Public speaking is worst than trying to lose 30 lbs.

Although one up side of having an engineer for a husband, he practices his presentation with you, you won't ever have trouble going to sleep. I wasn't sleepy before he started but the topic is so far from anything that interests me (like Physics...), I was nodding off and yawning afterwards. This topic was like a sleeping pill for me. I told him I couldn't work for his company because I wouldn't be able to stay awake long enough to get any work done. I wouldn't feel good about cheating a company out like that.

Hurry home and be safe husband.

Weight Loss Goals...revisited

I'm hungry today due to monthly hormonal inbalance that makes me crave everything yeast leavened and bad for you. Straight to your hips kind of food. I haven't gone over my WW points and that is huge for me. I am trying to stay focus on my longterm weight loss goals. So I thought I'd list them to remind myself why I am cutting back on food, exercise and find new ways to torture myself physically by signing up for a 12k.

1) Health-prevent diabetes and heart attack, lower my cholesterol, breath better, & help my mental outlook (not get so embarrassed when I run into people I haven't seen in years looking fatter).
2) Run faster mile and do more fun runs (like how fun is a marathon?! ). So I'm not there yet but one day.
3) Get muscle definition in my arms (I have never had this and no it's not my extra hands waving back at you...it's just my loose, fatty skin).
4) Set an example for my boys-they see me being more active, they want to be more active too.
5) Look hot for my lovely husband (okay this really is my #2 but I thought I should try to not be so vain).
6) Not look at pictures of myself and cringe because I can't believe I had let myself get this big.

So now my stats on where I'm at today: I can run 5 miles in 64 minutes and still function, do 15 man push-ups without collapsing, weigh 133.4 lbs., and wear a size 8 clothes without any stretchy material. I have about 10 lbs. left to my goal weight and then I will reevaluate what that will look like for me. Right now, I feel so much better and for the most part, I don't feel like I am missing out on any food. I used food A LOT for comfort but I redirect it now. If I can only get my monthly hormonal influx under control...

Labyrinthitis

It has a name!! Two nights ago, I woke up from dead sleep with sudden dizziness and the felt like I needed to vomit. This continued for the next six hours. I didn't know what it was-all I knew was the room would spin fast out of control and I felt like I was going to fall. Then because I was so dizzy, I wanted to vomit. Horrible. My husband finally convinced me to go to the hospital (I didn't want to because I was afraid I would have to wait for hours to be seen). I didn't want to disgrace myself in front of an audience. Thankfully, my friend took our boys and we were seen right away. I didn't know if I was having a stroke, menegitis, or ear infection. It turned out to be an inner ear infection called Labyrinthitis where the maze of canals fill with fluid or inflamed for whatever reason, it affects balance and hearing. This causes vertigo (spinning room feeling), loss of balance, nausea, vomit, hearing loss, and tinnitus. So far no hearing loss because I can still hear my boys fighting.

Anyway, there is not a cure but a medicine that helps with the symptoms so you can function until the inner ear heals called Meclizine (prescription and over the counter). I am forever thankful to the researchers who came up with this medicine. I have heard of others having vertigo and have never felt this outside of a merry-go-round, but I can't believe others have this chronically and stay sane.

Of course through all this, my lovely husband was there and he has been awesome at taking care of the boys so I can recover. Also, thank you C.B. for taking my boys.